With much of the country facing treacherous winter conditions, opportunities for fun and recreation have been hard to come by. Thankfully, an intrepid and horny group of students at Michigan State University have devised a new way for people to pass the time and stay warm in the process: the “Netflix and Deadly Wind Chill.”
The new trend offers a twist on the classic “Netflix and Chill” scenario, where a prospective sexual partner is invited over to watch Netflix and presumably engage in intercourse, except it takes place outdoors in hazardous subzero weather.
“Really the idea came, as most good ideas do, from sheer boredom,” said MSU packaging sophomore Daniel Monk, who helped popularize the trend. “We’ve all been wanting to fuck this stupid weather, but a group of us finally realized that instead of fucking the weather, we could just fuck each other IN the weather. This is the kind of incredible logic we’ve learned during our time at MSU.”
The sheer brilliance and magnificence of this trend is apparent when you see its after-effects. Those who participate in the trend often suffer life-threatening frostbite, and several have already lost limbs in a beautiful testament to what we must be willing to give in order to have exciting and fulfilling sexual lives.
When asked for comment, the administration said that while they don’t condone the practice they aren’t exactly experts on student safety either. “With temperatures projected to fall well below zero, it seems obvious that we should make a public announcement that this trend isn’t safe,” said MSU spokesperson Margaret McBride. “But then again, we’ve really bungled these kinds of straightforward responsibilities in the past.”
At press time, firefighters were braving the harsh winds and freezing temperatures to put out students who had caught fire due to the intense fiery passion of their lovemaking.