Prior to Michigan State’s disappointing game against Texas Tech, the university had publicity on its mind. They knew, as we all did, that the student body wasn’t going to stand idly by as perfectly flammable couches sat in hundreds of DTN living rooms—win or lose, those suckers were gonna burn.

Michigan State distributed flyers to all major cafeterias asking that the student body not partake in this rowdy behavior because “events like these are an embarrassment to our community.” Missing the irony all together, MSU seems to have forgotten the many ways it embarrassed itself over the past few years.

“Yeah, we understand that burning stuff and rioting isn’t cool, and the university is trying to keep us from getting hurt, but the begging for us not to embarrass them is a little sad if you ask me,” said senior botany major Tiffany Boone. “I’ve seen religions less hypocritical than that. Plus burning stuff and rioting is cool.”

“Oh yeah, I’m not really into basketball all that much, but you bet your ass I’m gonna go wild with my boys afterward,” said accounting junior Blake Likelly, crushing a Miller Lite on his forehead. “I, frankly, don’t like the university’s tone. Very holier-than-thou. I’m just trying to have a good time.”

“Lou Anna Simon, John Engler, the board of trustees, scandal after scandal,” Ashley Righton, a social relations and policy senior told The Byz. “Fine, tell us to stay away, but don’t use a morality card you don’t have. It’s not very cash-money of you.”

There seems to be a consensus in East Lansing that the students aren’t really the problem when it comes to embarrassing actions, but rather the university itself. In truth, Michigan State should be counting their blessings that the students took to the streets because MSU upset 1 seed Duke, and not because they were interested in reenacting the French Revolution.