Former Vice President and Democratic primary candidate Joe Biden was met with thunderous applause when he announced his policy on abortion, birth control, and women’s rights last night during his guest appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

When Ellen asked Biden about his hardships as a DNC frontrunner, Biden replied, “people keep asking me, ‘Uncle Joe, what are you going to do about the birth control laws being signed in the South?’ Can you believe that, Ellen? I don’t have time for that, I have an election to win!” He was met with resounding laughter.

Biden continued, “My PR team told me it was a good idea to have a policy for this appearance, so I’m excited to announce Roe vs. Wade will be protected for every tier 2 DNC Patreon supporter!” Ellen wept with joy. Biden finished his statement, “While you won’t receive protection as a tier 1 subscriber, I will say ‘thank you’ to all who donate regardless.”

When Ellen pressed for details on a third tier, the crowd was confused, yet delighted when Biden simply answered, “oil show.”

Ellen thanked Biden for being supportive of women, and spent the rest of the episode watching silly YouTube videos with him. While his television appearance was light on policy, it seems to bode great things for the future of his inevitable presidency!

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