The 2020 presidential election is a jam-packed race. With so many candidates, it’s hard to narrow down the field. We know what you’re thinking: “If I just knew what lyric from the iconic ‘Cha Cha Slide’ fit the 10 front-running candidates the best, this would be so much easier.”
Well, wonder no longer. We are happy to inform you that your wishes have been fulfilled, and this is the list you have been dreaming of. Now get to sliding… to the polls!
1. Donald Trump (R): “How low can you go? Can you go down low?”
This really requires very little explanation. He certainly can go down low.
2. Bernie Sanders (D): “Left foot now y’all!”
Bernie is one of the furthest left-leaning candidates in the field with an agenda bordering on socialism. But he’s everyone’s grandpa and oh-so-folksy.
3. Elizabeth Warren (D): “Let’s go to work!”
Elizabeth has a plan for everything. She’s ready to go. She’s not super lovable like Bernie, but she’s all business. She’s a real one.
4. John Delaney (D) : “Hands on your knees! (x2)”
Poor John. The first democratic debate probably left him with therapy-worthy trauma. It was exhausting to watch him try to get a word in when, if we are being honest, no one really cares. Hands on your knees indeed Senator Delaney.
5. Kamala Harris (D): “Criss cross!”
We’re not saying Senator Harris can be a little wishy-washy when it comes to taking a firm stance on things, but Senator Harris can be a little wishy-washy when it comes to taking a firm stance on things.
6. Joe Biden (D): “Right foot 2 stomps!”
As a very centrist candidate, and one who exhibits many of the ~behavioral~ characteristics present in the Republican party, Joe seems to be stomping his right foot pretty hard.
7. Beto O’Rourke (D): “Cha-cha real smooth.”
Beto is just so cool. He could slide up to us in some Heelies with a joint hanging out of his mouth and throw up a peace sign and we’d be like, “Classic Beto.” Real smooth.
8. Cory Booker: “Can you bring it to the top? Like you’ll never ever stop?”
Booker likes to revel in taking the moral high ground. Bring it to the top, kid. Never ever stop.
9. Tulsi Gabbard: “Freeze!”
Let’s be honest: no one really knows who Tulsi Gabbard is. But after watching her in the first democratic debate it’s clear she enjoys being authoritative and is really good at spinning questions that have nothing to do with the military and making them have something to do with the military. If Tulsi told me to freeze, I would freeze.
10. Andrew Yang: “It’s time to get funky!”
Universal basic income? My, my, my, Andrew… that IS funky!