Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, the nation has plunged headfirst into the holiday spirit. Sparty’s has decided to get in on the fun, announcing recently that they will be adding a brand new flavor to their piss menu: peppermint!
That’s right, piss lovers! No more chasing your breath mints with piss to get the flavor combination you so crave. The move by Sparty’s is not unprecedented, but is smart nonetheless; their pumpkin spice piss has literally been flying off the shelves!
A Sparty’s insider gave The Byzantine the sultry details of this delectable combo.
“Featuring only the finest peppermint from our partners in Oregon, Spartan piss drinkers can now experience the salty joy of Michigan State piss paired with minty green freshness. There really is no better way to celebrate the holiday season than by drinking lots and lots of peppermint piss!”
Sparty’s customers expressed excitement following the announcement. Scott Orina, a self-described “pee-aficionado” and senior student in James Madison College called the announcement “perhaps the best day in his life”, since when he first realized he could drink pee.
“I knew the free market would come through eventually, as it always does,” Orina told The Byzantine proudly. “The market will always work tirelessly to fill the essential needs of everyday Americans. As the great economist and urophage Adam Smith said: Yum yum, slurp slurp, pee pee!”
At press time, Sparty’s employees were seen extracting urine from local restrooms late into the night to meet what they called “unexpected demand.”